22 Things a Woman Must Know: If She Loves a Man With Asperger's Syndrome Big SALE

Title : 22 Things a Woman Must Know: If She Loves a Man With Asperger's Syndrome
Category: Love & Romance
Brand: Jessica Kingsley Pub
Item Page Download URL : Download in PDF File
Rating : 4.2
Buyer Review : 135

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Although having Asperger Syndrome (AS) can make romantic relations difficult, having a fulfilling relationship with an Asperger man is certainly not impossible. A woman in love with a man with AS may interpret his difficulties with communication and socialization as a lack of interest in the relationship. He may vacillate between being gentle and caring to seeming cold and distant. She may find his behaviour hard to understand, resulting in feelings of loneliness, isolation, and confusion. This book shows how to overcome these difficulties and maintain a loving relationship with an AS partner. From an unwillingness to show affection in public or even sleep in the same bed to problems holding down a job, this book looks at 22 common traits that women may discover when they are dating, living with or married to a man with Asperger's Syndrome. Rudy Simone explores the complications of Asperger's relationships with honesty and understanding, drawing on research and personal experience to inform and advise women with AS partners. She offers helpful tips for improving the relationship and finding fulfilment both individually and as a couple. This book will help women to understand the male Asperger's mind and, equally, it can help men with AS to see things from their partner's perspective. It will also be of interest to counsellors working with couples where one partner has Asperger's Syndrome.


Review :
Very Helpful
Long before a diagnosis, my husband and I knew that he had Asperger's. It just took the medical community all these years to be able to test and diagnose adults. I found this book helpful and really want to get my husband to read it as well. This author points out that ( depending on the severity of the Asperger's ) the diagnosed spouse or partner CAN learn some things to cope and behave in a more "normal" fashion. I know this to be true because I've known my husband since high school and that's been 30 years. We've only been married for 17 years. I know he can "adapt" when he makes an effort. It just seems that since the diagnosis he is much less willing to "adapt". I think this book will be useful in guiding a conversation between us about expectations going forward. It states the woman's ( or non-Asperger's) side clearly and in a way I think my husband can understand. As is typical for many AS folks, he can receive information; especially information regarding OUR...
Let's be honest here.
Yes, there are some very attractive, brilliant and intriguing men out there who also have Aspergers, and they can make the sweetest dates in the world. But the majority of women, NT or not, who marry an aspie man end up having one or more children with some form of autism *and* being the de facto sole caretakers and coordinators of the household. Most of these women will end up with major depression and one or more autoimmune diseases from never having their own light reflected back at them as time goes on living with someone who is almost completely unreciprocal but who is supposed to be your life partner.

Books such as this one and "Going over the edge" by Kathy Marshack are lifelines for such women because leaving their marriages tends to be logistically, emotionally and economically insurmountable. (Try doing it with a special needs child, depressed, economically stretched and socially isolated, Cassandra.)

But I have a problem with publishers who aim to...
No help to me
This book is well written and honest, but only tells you how to cope with a man who has Asperger's. How to bend to his needs in order to keep the peace. I've been doing that with my husband for 25 years and no matter how I bend to his ways he still finds ways to be angry at everything in the world.

There is no advice on how to get what you need emotionally and physically or how to make communication easier, other than going out with your girlfriends and keeping yourself busy with activities that don't involve your husband. I'm wondering what the point is of being married to him is then. I'm thinking that these are all things you can do without an Aspi husband and then you can come home to a peaceful empty household. In other words divorce or don't marry an Aspi to start with.

I've read just about every book on Asperger's out there and I'm starting to believe that the reason there isn't any advice on how to help your Aspi husband to give you what you need is...